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Fic, Stargate Atlantis, "Why Rodney Shouldn't... part 5"
Title: Why Rodney Shouldn't be Allowed to Play with Ancient Tech
Pairing Rodney/Ancient Machine and John/Rodney
Rating G
Warnings Crack fic! And Mpreg. You've been warned.
Summary Rodney gets himself knocked up by the local Automated Ancient Spermbank. I did warn for crack, remember!
It Takes a Village
"So, I've made up a roster for watching Elizabeth. Teyla, Cadman, Sam and Keller have all agreed to watch over her. So have I, Zelenka and Ronon..."
"Wait a minute, Ronon volunteered? I don't really picture him as a babysitter."
"Relax, Rodney. I think Teyla may have shamed him into it, but you couldn't ask for a more loyal, dependable guy."
"Well, I know he's the guy I want at my back during a fight with the Wraith, but nappy changing? On second thought, if the man can stare down a Wraith, dirty diapers should be a walk in the park."
"Yeah, well, I don't know if Teyla actually mentioned the dirty diaper part to him. He's a smart guy, I'm sure he thought of it."
You Want Me To Do What?
"Relax big guy, it's no big deal! If Rodney can manage it, so can you."
"Hey, what do you mean if? I'm a genius!"
"Rodney, the smell almost made you faint."
"Did not! It was the colour. I don't think poop should be that colour!"
"Can we get to the point? I am not changing the diaper. I will play with, hold, feed or carry the baby. I am not changing the diaper."
"C'mon, buddy, it can't be worse than fighting the Wraith, can it?"
"You obviously haven't changed her diaper yet."
It Takes a Village, pt 2
"Alright, so for volunteers we have Teyla, Cadman, Sam, Keller, Zelenka, myself and Katie."
"Wait, you got my ex to agree to babysit our daughter? Why?"
"Why not? She's a nice lady and she wanted to help."
"You aren't supposed to be okay with my ex-girlfriend being around our child! You're supposed to be jealous, and all grrr..."
"Um, I'm not. Katie's nice. I can't say I'm sorry now that you guys broke up, but I'm not threatened by her."
"That's not the point! Sheesh, for someone who has half the female population tripping over themselves, you are clueless about relationships!"
"I think you've lost it, Rodney."
"Couldn't you, you know, at least pretend to be jealous?"
Hop on Pop
"What are you reading her?"
"Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. What does it look like I am reading her?"
"Why are you reading her that crap? She should be read books about astrophysics and engineering! Not some crack-pot rhyming about mouldy food."
"There is nothing wrong with these books. I grew up reading Dr. Seuss and I have turned out fine."
"That depends on who's opinion you ask, Zelenka!"
Pairing Rodney/Ancient Machine and John/Rodney
Rating G
Warnings Crack fic! And Mpreg. You've been warned.
Summary Rodney gets himself knocked up by the local Automated Ancient Spermbank. I did warn for crack, remember!
It Takes a Village
"So, I've made up a roster for watching Elizabeth. Teyla, Cadman, Sam and Keller have all agreed to watch over her. So have I, Zelenka and Ronon..."
"Wait a minute, Ronon volunteered? I don't really picture him as a babysitter."
"Relax, Rodney. I think Teyla may have shamed him into it, but you couldn't ask for a more loyal, dependable guy."
"Well, I know he's the guy I want at my back during a fight with the Wraith, but nappy changing? On second thought, if the man can stare down a Wraith, dirty diapers should be a walk in the park."
"Yeah, well, I don't know if Teyla actually mentioned the dirty diaper part to him. He's a smart guy, I'm sure he thought of it."
You Want Me To Do What?
"Relax big guy, it's no big deal! If Rodney can manage it, so can you."
"Hey, what do you mean if? I'm a genius!"
"Rodney, the smell almost made you faint."
"Did not! It was the colour. I don't think poop should be that colour!"
"Can we get to the point? I am not changing the diaper. I will play with, hold, feed or carry the baby. I am not changing the diaper."
"C'mon, buddy, it can't be worse than fighting the Wraith, can it?"
"You obviously haven't changed her diaper yet."
It Takes a Village, pt 2
"Alright, so for volunteers we have Teyla, Cadman, Sam, Keller, Zelenka, myself and Katie."
"Wait, you got my ex to agree to babysit our daughter? Why?"
"Why not? She's a nice lady and she wanted to help."
"You aren't supposed to be okay with my ex-girlfriend being around our child! You're supposed to be jealous, and all grrr..."
"Um, I'm not. Katie's nice. I can't say I'm sorry now that you guys broke up, but I'm not threatened by her."
"That's not the point! Sheesh, for someone who has half the female population tripping over themselves, you are clueless about relationships!"
"I think you've lost it, Rodney."
"Couldn't you, you know, at least pretend to be jealous?"
Hop on Pop
"What are you reading her?"
"Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. What does it look like I am reading her?"
"Why are you reading her that crap? She should be read books about astrophysics and engineering! Not some crack-pot rhyming about mouldy food."
"There is nothing wrong with these books. I grew up reading Dr. Seuss and I have turned out fine."
"That depends on who's opinion you ask, Zelenka!"